The Funny Corner

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name = Petri
e-mail = lottis@sgic.fi
homepage = -
town = Kirkkonummi
country = Finland
Joke = Q: what do you call a man with no ears?
A: what ever you want, he can't hear you.


name = Domingos De pina
e-mail = Dompa@2.sbbs.se
homepage = http://193.12.69.8/domingos.depina/index.htm
town = Praia
country = Cape Verde
Jokes = A Red Indian claiming to have an extraordinary memory was asked by an American what he had had for breakfast on September 5th 1958.
"Eggs" said the Red Indian.
The American didn't take him seriously and went on his way.
Ten years later the American saw the Red Indian walking out of a shop in New York and recognising him immediately shouted"hau".
"Fried" replied the Red Indian.
*********
"A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm. The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightening. The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and they are all going to die. At the height of the storm, an extremely attractive young woman jumps up and exclaims, "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die, let me die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like a woman?" She sees a hand raise in the back, and a handsome, tall, muscular man smiles and starts to walk up to her seat. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt. She sees his huge muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her, "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?" She eagerly nods her head and says, "yes!" As the man hands her his shirt, he says, "Here, iron this."
**********
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: - religion - royalty - sex - mystery The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
**********
When Casey stated he was getting married, his pet parrot was very upset and insisted on going on honeymoon with the couple. "Okay, okay," Casey shouted to the parrot. "You can come along,but I don't want you looking. You gotta promise that you'll look the other way when we're making love....and if you break your promise, you'll get nothing to eat." Not wanting to be left at home, the parrot readily agreed and kept his face turned toward the wall all night as Casey and Darlene made love. In the morning as he was packing their suitcase, Casey said to Darlene, "I can't get it all in, darling. You'll have to sit on it. No, that won't work either. I'll get on top and press down.
No, I still can't do it that way, but I have another idea. Why don't we both get on top?"
And the parrot said, "Food or no food...this I gotta see."
**********
"The couple lay down to sleep for the night. As they were falling asleep, the husband reached over and gently stroked his wife's arm. She said: "not tonight honey, I have a gynecologist appointment in the morning and I want to stay fresh." So he rolled over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later he leaned over and whispered " do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
**********
"There was this family and they decided to move to a nudist colony. One day little Billy came over to his mother and asked why some "womyn" have larger breast than other "womyn". His mother told him that women with large breast are rich. A few days later Billy came up to his mother and asked her why do some men have larger "penii" than other men. His mother replied; The bigger a man's penis is, the dumber he is. A few days later, Billy came up to his mother and said; Daddy is talking to a real rich lady and he is getting really stupid!"
**********
Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father five years ago.
Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale says to the female "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales."
The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly.
Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale yells, "They're going to shore - Let's go gobble them up!" Just then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "HEY!", she says, "I agreed to the blow job, but there's NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!

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